No.

I have a headstrong kid. Did you know I could/would produce a headstrong child? Apparently I'm the only one who doubted the possibility since whenever I tell people that Punky is headstrong, it's met with an unimpressed, unsurprised nod, and I swear a few times I've heard a few people whisper under their breath, "Karma."

At almost eight months, she has decided that being told "NO" is blasphemy. Some parents have laid-back kids who just ride along when told no. They find something else to do. "Preoccupy your child with another alternative," say the parenting books. Well a big hearty "fuck you" to the parenting books -- you don't know my kid.

She loves remote controls. That's a big no. Take the remote away, hand her a different toy. OH HELL NO, says the Punky. No matter how tricky I try to be, her big brown eyes follow exactly where the remote goes, and she goes right back after it. Like, I think she is a witch or something because I will hide the remote (the universal is her favorite) somewhere high and out of reach. I could put it outside in the CAR. Give it 20 minutes and she will have somehow found it and stuck it back in her tiny mouth.

Fuck this rattle shit. I want the damn remote, woman!

Even if you tell her "No" in a cautionary tone from across the room, she will freak out. When she goes after shoes, A or I will caution, "Punk... no no..." She sits up. Looks at us, gauges our face to see if we're serious, and upon realizing we are, will continue to sit, and scream. SCREAM.

THE PUNKY SHALL NOT BE CONTAINED!!!

She knows what "no" means, and she knows she wants no part in it. She doesn't know who in the big blue fuck you think you are, but she knows that SHE is the PUNKY. And the Punky does what the Punky wants. Your shoes? They'll be hers. That remote? Hers. That enticing-looking collection of electrical cords? Hers, hers, hers. Want to fight about it? Let's rumble.

Coming up in a related post -- childproofing. Not going so well, actually.