So A and I have had an ongoing war with Creepy Cat Guy across the street and his army of feline minions that roam the neighborhood at will. Despite semi-empty threats, nothing has changed in the last year. The cats are still everywhere, mocking me and A and the rest of the neighborhood. And I hate cats. HATE.
Last night we heard the lids to our trash cans clatter on the driveway. In response, A grabbed his air rifle and headed to the back deck. Of course he was only planning on shooting at the cats pellets into the air to frighten the cats. Part of me wonders if I should discourage such behavior, but as I said, I hate cats, and I really just don't care.
I hear A go out onto the back deck. The door shuts. There is a pause. Then I hear him shooting his rifle in rapid fire, but I don't hear any cat yowling or anything to indicate he actually hit anything. But he did come running back in through the back door, slam the door shut, and press himself against the door, eyes wide and filled with fear and his heart pounding through his shirt.
Apparently, what happened was A made it as far as the back deck, was peering around the back yard when something -- an ominous, ambiguous shadow -- came running at him. He freaked out and proceeded to shoot blindly into the dark at it. While he doesn't think he hit it, he's hoping he at least scared it.
Damn those cats and damn their evil overlord, Creepy Cat Guy. They know we're plotting and have arranged defense armies. I'm waiting for the morning A leaves for work and I find his rotting corpse on the front lawn that afternoon, with cats eating his eyes. It'll happen. I swear it will.
2 hours ago
3 comments:
HAHA evil overlord. Maybe that was a werewolf or something? Silver pellets in order here?
Wouldn't shooting pellets at the trash can make sufficient noise to scare the cats?
Surely some chemical that smells bad enough to cats, e.g., dog/wolf urine, that would dissuade them from prowling around in your trash cans?
Sure, sk, but then what do we do about the constant cat wailing at all hours of the night, or the`cats constantly climbing on our cars, or the paw prints in the fresh paint on my porch that they got into, or the countless times they've snuck into the house behind me when the door's been open, or laying in the middle of the road with no concern to cars, or the smell of cat piss on my porch because they pissed on it?
I'm an animal lover. I really am. But there comes a point where someone's negligence gets beyond the point of just irritating.
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