Hamster moments.

When I was a kid, I had a hamster named Izzy. I bought her from Wal-Mart with money I'd earned from winning a coloring contest. Surprises lay in store for me, as unbeknownst to us, we had purchased a pregnant hamster. A couple weeks after buying the hamster, she inevitably had babies. The babies didn't last long, as I came home from school one day filled with glee and excitement to see the babies again and realized they were gone.

In their place was a scene of carnage that no 8-year-old can quite process.

I understand now. Parenthood brings a lot of insight with it, and now I understand why Izzy ate her young.

Because they drive you batshit crazy with rage and sheer exhaustion sometimes.

Punky is cutting teeth --again -- and yet again, is making the entire process unbearable. On top of cutting teeth, she also currently has a cold bug that A. brought home from work with him. She won't eat because her mouth hurts. She won't sleep because... I don't even know why, she just won't, she just lays in bed and thrashes and screams and stands and screams and kicks the wall and screams. Man, I miss the pillbug days when I could wrap her up in her swaddling blankets and let her rock back and forth screaming until she tuckered herself out. But anyway... yeah. So my list of awesome now consists of:

1.) Teething
2.) Cold
3.) Hungry
4.) Tired

And there's nothing I can do about it except stare wistfully at the bottle of rum on the fridge and wonder if anyone would really judge me if I just gave her a tiny bit, just enough to knock her out... then throw back a couple shots of my own and we could both just pass out.

I mean, I'd never do that. Ha ha ha, that's only what the bad moms do, not me, nosiree!

In those brief moments of sleep-deprived insanity, I start wondering if it would really hurt so bad just to cut my vajayjay open a little bit and stuff her back in to cook a little longer til she can be civil again. And upon realizing that, and realizing A. won't be home for another FIVE HOURS... eating your young sounds like a viable, logical solution sometimes.

And people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I only want one baby...