Body bag.

I am so filled with relief and joy that I could probably plunk down and sob.

Our mission this weekend was for A. to finally, FINALLY install our new shower in the bathroom. And now, after weeks of waiting, showering in the body bag shower of death (and incidentally, showering about twice a week because I hated showering in it that much) and tolerating the temporary nature of the situation, I have a mostly-done shower.

Okay. So. The story goes like this: a few months ago we discovered a leak from the shower/tub, which was going directly down into the basement. Realizing this situation needed a remedy, A. promptly resolved it -- by "resolved," I mean he opened up a cooler directly beneath the leak and let it fill to the brim, then would empty it out, rinse, repeat.

So finally, after nagging and withholding incentives of the "business time" variety ("Flight of the Conchords," FTW), he finally agreed to hack into the plumbing behind the shower and fix the leak. This is where we get into my original beef with the shower. The old man who owned the house prior to A. (A. lived here for a couple years before I was in the picture) basically took every half-ass, cheap way out in terms of home improvements. The shower was no exception. The external plumbing was falling off, the "walls" were made of dry-erase board, and it was all in horrible disrepair. So I won't lie -- I wholeheartedly encouraged A. to hack into the wall, knowing a beautiful new shower awaited me as a reward for showering in the gross shower for two years.

The leak was fixed, and we ordered shower walls from Menard's. Special ordered. We were told they would arrive the following Thursday. That Thursday rolled around, and we ripped all of the old paneling (all three layers of it) and went to Menard's to pick up our shower walls that surely had arrived that day.

This is where it all gets sticky.

The shower walls weren't in at Menard's. The shower walls were completely torn apart at our house. We were told by an entirely too perky sales manager at Menard's that they were so so sorry, that our shower walls were going to be on the next truck, which would be arriving Sunday. Okay. So we did a quick fix, irritated as hell, and taped up black garbage bags over the walls in the shower to last us til Sunday.

Sunday came. The shower walls didn't. This Thursday, they promised us. This Thursday.

That next Thursday came, and the walls didn't. This is when I discovered that they were completely out of stock. The walls didn't exist. The order had been cancelled by Menard's and they failed to notify us -- and apparently didn't update their computer, or they flat-out lied to us. So we had to special-order another set of shower walls, and would have to wait two weeks for them to arrive.

By the time they arrived, we'd been showering in the black garbage bag shower -- which, if you have ever wondered what it would be like to hang out in a body bag, you should've given me a call and we could've hung out in the shower of death -- for a month. A MONTH, PEOPLE. Then A. ordered new fixtures (is that the correct word for it?) over eBay after finding the set we'd originally bought for about $80 cheaper.

We had the walls. That coming weekend we were going to install it, because surely the fixtures would arrive.

The fixtures didn't arrive.

So we had to wait ANOTHER week after A. eBay-battled to figure out where the hell the fixtures were. Five weeks in the body bag shower.

Finally the fixtures arrived, the shower walls were in our house and in our possession, and A. and his dad proceeded to spend two full days completely re-doing the internal plumbing (which, unsurprisingly was a complete fucking disaster, thanks Former Owner!) and installing the walls, and I now finally have my beautiful shower.

Til this evening when we discovered another leak behind the shower walls.

*eye twitch* *eye twitch*