For some reason lately I've been finding myself slapped with the realization that my world has really been thrown upside down from the existence it was two years ago. Two years ago I was still a crazy co-ed and now here I am, wife and mom. You don't think about it much, except in the broadest sense, until you find yourself realizing things like this...
June 2006: The statement "We need to go to the club" = "I really need to go get trashed and rub up on some skeezy guys that will most likely buy us more drinks."
June 2008: The statement "We need to go to the club" = "We're out of hamburger meat and Velveeta cheese, we need to go to Sam's Club and get more."
June 2006: Our freezer was full of Stoli vodka.
June 2008: Our freezer is full of ice cold chew toys for Vampira Punky.
June 2006: I knew exactly how much alcohol was left in the house as I wandered the liquor store.
June 2008: I know exactly what the inventory of our kitchen contains as I wander Wal-Mart.
June 2006: I passed out at 10 pm because I started drinking far too early.
June 2008: I pass out at 10 pm out of sheer exhaustion.
June 2006: My biggest accomplishment was doing the longest keg stand of anyone I knew.
June 2008: My biggest accomplishment is pushing a 7.7 lb. human being from my loins.
June 2006: The sharpest thing to come in contact with my nipples was a piercer's needle.
June 2008: The sharpest thing to come in contact with my nipples are an infant's central incisors.
2 hours ago
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