Punk has become a huge fan of the Temper Tantrum, and it is making me want to kill someone.
Her tantrums don't just involve yelling and crying. They involve this shrill, banshee scream, one that I'm fairly certain has led the neighbors to believe I routinely kill her. You take away the scissors she's magically attained, or re-adjust her baby gate, or tell her no, and the screaming begins. And when you ignore that much, that's when she sprawls out on the floor and continues to scream while writhing. If you ignore the Tawny Kittaen-on-a-car-hood writhing, she then proceeds to assault you, smacking with tiny hands and biting if she's able to get a good grip.
My friends, I have a toddler on the cusp of the Terrible Two's.
What's the return policy on this thing? Usually at Wal-Mart, I know even if I bought something beyond the return policy, if I'm super nice to the customer service rep, and mumble something about "I know I've got the receipt somewhere" while pretending to shuffle through my purse, they'll let me return it as long as it's not too beat up. Can I do that with this child? Is it too late to say, "Ya know, thanks, but turns out we didn't really need it, and it's still practically new?"
Things that have spurred tantrums in the last 48 hours:
● Punky wanted to put her shoes on. However, with the futility that is Toddler Motor Skills, she was unable to do so.
● I had the audacity to offer to help her put her shoes on.
● I then attempted to take her shoes away so as to STOP THIS FUCKING MADNESS.
● Not putting the right kind of juice in the sippy cup.
● Having the audacity to expect her to eat a granola bar.
● Taking away a spatula that was being used to beat the dog
● Stopping her from stabbing herself with scissors.
● Idiotic and narrow minded conservatives spreading false panic about Obama's healthcare plan
● The cashier at Target looking at her
● Vacuum cleaner
● Diaper change
● Drew Carey on the Price is Right.
Dear God. I'm seriously, seriously going to lose my goddamn mind in 4...3...2....
1 hour ago
3 comments:
Having been that parent whose child stabbed herself with scissors, I can confess, it's really not that bad. And my kid hasn't touched a pair since. Of course, she's 9 and so presumably the memory banks are better(although the argument would also ring true that at age 9 the reasoning required to abstain from said stabbing).
Of course, our ER doesn't ask too many questions...
LMAO ---->"Idiotic and narrow minded conservatives spreading false panic about Obama's healthcare plan"
That's was funny!!!!
There was a reason for the hook & eye latch on the OUTSIDE of Steven's room when he was 2...and a reason why there was NOTHING outside of his closet except for his mattress. Which was on the floor so that he could learn to sleep in a "bigboybed".
It's also why he wore overalls...a lot. You can pick a kid up by those, you know.
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